All the Annoying

I haz a sad. I haz all the sads. The way “social speak” is infiltrating our language so makes me crazy. Because, irritating. I so don’t understand how this happened. When did it become okay to put “so” in front of verbs? Annoying. All the annoying. It’s been a minute since you annoyed me Internet. Or shall I call you interwebs? This. This. Is. Everything. Maybe we have no chill but you’re my bae, and I can tell you how I really feel, right? I miss grammar. And sentences. Full on subject and predicate, with a modifier thrown in, sentences. I mean sentences are awesomeness. All the awesomeness. I understand language evolves. I so do. We’re a multigenerational agency here at Double Forte; we pride ourselves on valuing each generation’s unique qualities. #yolo. We think it’s swell, groovy, rad. It’s wicked pissa, in fact. (We value regionalisms too.) It’s just that some of our speech patterns have become wack. Amirite? Anyway, do you think this post will go viral? Could it break the Internet? Or will it win the Internet? Is there a difference? Whatevs. I’ll tell you what: if, this post wins the Internet it will be everything. Because, Friday. Okay ttyl. I am trying to figure out how to take a selfie of my selfie stick. All the love! You are awesomeness.